I am Blessed

Today I am feeling abundantly blessed. You may wonder why. It is with a sense of awe and humility that I share a tiny portion of my life with you. The year was 1988- twenty years ago to be exact.

I was poised precariously between life and death. I can even now remember the cardiologists hovering around me trying to hear my faint heartbeat which was somehow being silenced by the heartbeat of the baby I was carrying. The lines of concentration and care showed clearly in their faces. I struggled to remain calm although their serious expressions indicated that I was in a crisis. I was experiencing difficulty with my breathing and as the doctors prodded and poked at my swollen body I had a premonition that things were worse than I supposed.

It did not take long for my deepest fears to be confirmed. My condition was critical and I had to sign forms so that the doctors could perform the surgery to remove the baby the very next day. I was now 8 months pregnant and had been hospitalized for at least five months with only occasional weekends at home. Twice I had faded away into heart failure. Now the doctors were adamant that to keep me in that condition any longer was to sign my death warrant. Even now I can remember the fear that clutched at my heart as I overheard one of the cardiologists saying, "Sister, can't you see we are losing this patient?"

I painfully signed the forms then placed a call to my mother to let her know that I would be being operated on the next day. She was going to prayer meeting that night so she assured me that the brethren there would be petitioning God's throne on my behalf. I was somewhat comforted but could not stop the tears from rolling down my cheek.

I prayed and somehow slept that night. The next morning I was prepared for theatre and by midmorning the porters came for me. Once more tears rolled down my cheeks as the realization dawned on me that there was a possibility that even if the baby lived I might not make it out alive. Nevertheless, I placed my trust in God and made the decision that whatever the outcome I just wanted Him to save me by his matchless grace.

At 2:08 p.m on November 8, 1988, the doctors removed Roxanne from my womb and ushered her into the world. According to the records she gave a lusty cry. Her little lungs were strong, despite her mother's weakness. What of her mother? According to my doctors I was dead to the world. I could not be awakened. I was placed in the intensive care unit but as night approached I slept on. One doctor said he was convinced that they were losing me as it seemed that I would just slip quietly into that sleep of death.

It is good to place one's confidence in God. The Creator is indeed the Sustainer of all. This is what happened: I felt a slap on my thigh. I awakened to the cries of, 'Thank you Jesus'. As I looked across the ward I saw a nurse on the other side staring at me as if she was in a state of shock. By this time I discovered that I was the one shouting 'thank you Jesus'. As the nurse rushed over to my side I tried to control the emotions that flooded over my entire being. With much effort I quietened as the nurse tenderly administered to my needs. I had been touched from heaven's throne room. My God delivered when it seemed there was no hope. What a God to serve, to love, and pant after!!!

He delivered me and I am still alive 20 years after. Today as I re-live that experience I am blessed. He can deliver you, my friends. Only trust Him, serve Him fully, then experience His blessings.

Love you all.